is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
