i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Randomize
