Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
