god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
