1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
