Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
