So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I supernannyed him into submission
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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