You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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