Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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