i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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