just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
