i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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