Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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