Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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