Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
