I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm getting married
To pizza
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
