Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
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his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
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I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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