OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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