every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize