Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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