I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
