Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
