dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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