smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
