i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
