when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
