everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
