I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Let's get the cat blown out
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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