Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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