Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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