Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
