Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
what the fuck happened to the tacos
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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