On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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