Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
