You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
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I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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