How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I can't put those talents on a resume
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
