You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
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