It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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