really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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