Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
