I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize