I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
