I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
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