So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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