writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
