At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
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he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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