I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
