Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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