just come out here and I will go home with you...
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
