I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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