Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
