I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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