Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
