just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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