OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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