walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
