Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
