I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
