Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
