i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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