Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I need a hoe opinion
go on
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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