Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Randomize
